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’13 Reasons Why’ star Tommy Dorfman is engaged and in love: ‘It’s very affirming’

Congratulations are in order for “13 Reasons Why” star Tommy Dorfman, who revealed Monday that she is engaged.

On the latest episode of Rachel Bilson’s “Broad Ideas” podcast, the actors discussed Dorfman’s childhood, family relationships, dating experiences and gender transition a year after the “Jane the Virgin” alum reintroduced herself as a transgender woman.

“There are people who fetishize trans women … so then that’s another thing to be cognizant of,” Dorfman told Bilson and co-host Olivia Allen.

“I’ve been fortunate to not have that experience … so much because I was so insular and private during my transition that I wasn’t out in the world. And then I fell in love with someone who doesn’t fetishize me in that way.”In a new Time profile, ’13 Reasons Why’ actor Tommy Dorfman reintroduces herself as a trans woman after a year of documenting her transition on Instagram.

July 22, 2021

The “Sharp Stick” actor also shared that — before she started seeing her current partner — she hadn’t been romantically involved with a woman in “a very long time.” Initially, Dorfman worried that her female friends would feel threatened by her transitioning and coming out as a lesbian or bisexual — that they might never trust her again. It turns out “those were the people who cared the least.”

“It’s just great,” Dorfman said of her relationship with her fiancée. “It’s very affirming. It’s very safe — also not safe, and being in love is so scary and so uncomfortable and so painful … all the universal feelings of being in love.”
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Another way Dorfman said her fiancée supports her is by helping her administer estrogen shots — a process she wasn’t familiar with before transitioning. Dorfman was previously married to Peter Zurkuhlen from 2016 to 2021.

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