Home » word wide » Every Song On The ‘Fifty Shades Of Grey’ Soundtrack, Ranked By Sexiness

Every Song On The ‘Fifty Shades Of Grey’ Soundtrack, Ranked By Sexiness

Say what you want about “Fifty Shades of Grey,” but I think we can all agree on one thing: the soundtrack is effing awesome. We can’t even imagine a helicopter without hearing Ellie Goulding’s angelic voice inside our heads — or think about strolling through the park with our boo without The Weeknd infiltrating our brains.

TBH, Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele’s love story never quite matches the bravado our queen and savior Beyoncé reaches for with “Haunted.” They never get quite as intimate as Jessie Ware manages to achieve on her sultry track “Meet Me in the Middle.” And let’s not kid ourselves here: the seductive soundtrack makes up for the mere 20 minutes of sex featured in the “kinky” flick. But which song is the sexiest? Don’t worry, we’ve ranked all of the steamy songs from the soundtrack to get to the bottom of this very important question. (Editor’s note: Danny Elfman’s two orchestral tracks are not included in the ranking — although, both are very sexy.)

We can’t listen to this song without thinking about Christian swiping Ana’s v-card. Therefore, this track is last. Make no mistake: if we were choreographing an aerial routine, this song would be our opus.It’s about as interesting as Anastasia Steele’s dad… which is not very interesting. Catchy beat, though!Like Christian Grey himself, it’s pretty — but there’s absolutely no substance. It’s just another generic love song. First things first, we love The Weeknd. But this just isn’t our cuppa tea — and to be honest, it doesn’t sound like The Weeknd’s either. His other “Fifty Shades” track charted much higher. It was sexier when The Boss sang it. (#SorryNotSorry) Do we think this is the kind of sad, indie music Christian listens to when he’s all alone in his Red Room of Pain? Probably. The lesser known British Jessie after J, Ware totally sells this song. We honestly believe she thinks this is a ~ sexy ~ movie. There’s no doubt homegirl can saaaaaang, but it’s not quite flame-emoji-worthy yet.

About yashwa Malik

Check Also

How The Gilded Age reset the rules: the September issue heralds the arrival of New Nostalgia

As for Julian Fellowes’s TV hit The Gilded Age, the second series will air in …

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.