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All The Glaringly Obvious Plot Holes I’ve Found While Rewatching Prison Break

The perils of back to back lockdowns keep coming, because like so many of you, I’ve run out of TV to watch. I smash anything new in one weekend, so when there’s a lull between fresh shows, I have to resort to rewatching nostalgic stuff. Except I did all the good ones like The Wire and even the shit-good ones like The OC, so now we’re down to shows you just know are not going to hold up. Like Prison Break.

Prison Break (streaming on Disney+) was THE MOST CREATIVE GENIUS INCREDIBLE show when it was released in 2005. I was either shoving everyone out of the lounge room at 8.30pm once a week, or carefully setting the old Foxtel box to record it. Or both. It was this meme, basically.The premise was, to be fair, majestic. Hot man with great eyes (Wentworth Miller as Michael) tattoos the entire layout of a maximum security prison onto his body, then does a crime to get thrown into the same jail his older brother Lincoln (Dominic whatshisface) is currently languishing in, on death row. He uses the tattoo to map a breakout, but of course encounters plenty of hiccups along the way.

That was season one. I’m not even going to bother with ~spoiler alert~ here because surely you watched this show. DER, GUYS. THEY ESCAPE THE PRISON. Season two is when they’re out and on the run. That’s where I’m currently up to – I vaguely remember another prison, possibly in Mexico, but I’m not up to that yet / maybe that was a fever dream. So, surprise surprise – Prison Break is not as incredible as I remembered it to be. For starters, the acting is tepid at best. It has these weird ad-break cuts after every big scene, because this is a show from the Ye Olde Days Of Yore when we had to watch free-to-air, and also had those phones you could hurl against a wall and all that would happen was the battery popped off the back.

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